I know that my perspective as a white girl isn’t going to be the most interesting but I am just so mad that my brain wanted to create SOMETHING. Below are my annotations of the
President‘s opening remarks (in italics).
Well, the election, it came out really well. Next time we’ll triple the number or quadruple it. We want to get it over 51, right? At least 51.
Yes, sir, Mr. Trump sir – if this is regarding your portion of the popular vote, actually undemocratic autocracies usually choose a vote percentage in the 90’s so they show they ALLOW dissent, people just don’t WANT it.
Well this is Black History Month, so this is our little breakfast, our little get-together.
Please, please! Use as many diminutives as possible!
Hi Lynn, how are you?
None of my research has told me who Lynn is but I am guessing from her name that she is at least 90.
Just a few notes. During this month, we honor the tremendous history of African-Americans throughout our country. Throughout the world, if you really think about it, right?
Wow. I thought about it, and wow. Earth shattering. There ARE black people all over the world.
And their story is one of unimaginable sacrifice, hard work, and faith in America. I’ve gotten a real glimpse—during the campaign, I’d go around with Ben to a lot of different places I wasn’t so familiar with. They’re incredible people.
“I met black people for the first time recently. They say you can’t make generalizations about millions of Americans but you know what, it’s what I’m known for.”
And I want to thank Ben Carson, who’s gonna be heading up HUD. That’s a big job. That’s a job that’s not only housing, but it’s mind and spirit. Right, Ben?
Wait, did Donald Trump think “Urban Development” meant the development of black people?
And you understand, nobody’s gonna be better than Ben.
“Everyone in this room is so thoroughly brainwashed and/or financially invested in my success, you DEFINITELY understand that this human sock puppet is what’s best for our interests.”
Last month, we celebrated the life of Reverend Martin Luther King, Jr., whose incredible example is unique in American history. You read all about Dr. Martin Luther King a week ago when somebody said I took the statue out of my office. It turned out that that was fake news. Fake news.
“Please focus on this incorrect fact someone reported accidentally and not the fact that I have already stripped an enormous number of Americans of their healthcare and emboldened police officers who trend authoritarian/racist, or the incorrect facts my press secretary reports intentionally.”
The statue is cherished, it’s one of the favorite things in the—and we have some good ones. We have Lincoln, and we have Jefferson, and we have Dr. Martin Luther King.
“You mean to tell me that Jefferson sleeping with his slaves was a form of assault? THAT SLAVERY IN ITSELF IS ABSOLUTELY ASSAULT? Nah, that can’t be. When you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything. Grab them by the –”
But they said the statue, the bust of Martin Luther King, was taken out of the office. And it was never even touched. So I think it was a disgrace, but that’s the way the press is. Very unfortunate.
“I haven’t exploited black folks enough so I’d like to use this moment when I should be acknowledging black history to continue to strip the nation of free press. Hey, btw, does anyone know what we could do to do away with Facebook Live?”
I am very proud now that we have a museum on the National Mall where people can learn about Reverend King, so many other things. Frederick Douglass is an example of somebody who’s done an amazing job and is being recognized more and more, I noticed. Harriet Tubman, Rosa Parks, and millions more black Americans who made America what it is today. Big impact.
“The exact details of what these people did wore off my ‘UGE palm when my hand sweat a little but I know they did stuff.”
I’m proud to honor this heritage and will be honoring it more and more. The folks at the table in almost all cases have been great friends and supporters. Darrell—I met Darrell when he was defending me on television.
OK this is beside the point but Darrell Scott’s Twitter avi is a picture he took of a computer screen. DARRELL SCOTT DOES NOT KNOW HOW TO TAKE A SCREENSHOT.
And the people that were on the other side of the argument didn’t have a chance, right? And Paris has done an amazing job in a very hostile CNN community. He’s all by himself. You’ll have seven people, and Paris. And I’ll take Paris over the seven.
Paris Dennard has a fine Twitter avi, sadly.
But I don’t watch CNN, so I don’t get to see you as much as I used to. I don’t like watching fake news. But Fox has treated me very nice. Wherever Fox is, thank you.
HOW. ARE. YOU. OUR. PRESIDENT.
We’re gonna need better schools and we need them soon. We need more jobs, we need better wages, a lot better wages. We’re gonna work very hard on the inner city.
“I heard about a wonderful plan to revamp our inner cities, it’s called ‘gentrification.’ It’s remarkable, it happens, and services just improve on their own, it’s like magic.”
Ben is gonna be doing that, big league. That’s one of the big things that you’re gonna be looking at. We need safer communities and we’re going to do that with law enforcement. We’re gonna make it safe.*
*For white police officers
We’re gonna make it much better than it is right now. Right now it’s terrible, and I saw you talking about it the other night, Paris, on something else that was really—you did a fantastic job the other night on a very unrelated show.
Almost as unrelated as this comment!
I’m ready to do my part, and I will say this: We’re gonna work together. This is a great group, this is a group that’s been so special to me. You really helped me a lot. If you remember I wasn’t going to do well with the African-American community,
You didn’t. You got less than 10% of the black vote.
and after they heard me speaking and talking about the inner city
and lots of other things, we ended up getting—and I won’t go into details—
but we ended up getting substantially more than other candidates who had run in the past years. And now we’re gonna take that to new levels. I want to thank my television star over here—Omarosa’s actually a very nice person, nobody knows that. I don’t want to destroy her reputation
but she’s a very good person, and she’s been helpful right from the beginning of the campaign, and I appreciate it. I really do. Very special.
Insofar as it is a teeny, tiny roadblock the media has to jump over to paint me –accurately– as a bigot.
So I want to thank everybody for being here
“to listen to our democracy erode. It’s a beautiful song. Like
Bruce Springsteen. A Springsteen Cover Band. Third Eye Blind playing original songs. Third Eye Blind playing cover songs.”