Party in the USA: Annotated

Happy President’s Day! A reminder of our current ridiculous situation, as well as all of the ignoble deeds previous presidents have begotten. In honor of this great American holiday, and also as a form of pure escapism, I have annotated the lyrics to Miley Cyrus’s 2009 hit, Party in the USA.

A relic of a bygone era, this is the most pointless topic I have ever chosen for a post. Indeed, I will mock the work of a person who, in my opinion, is basically dead. 2009 Miley Cyrus was a character created by the Disney machine, whose vessel has since rejected her in favor of being her own damn self and fucking fostering homeless LGBT youth.

Screw the antiquated songwriters who wrote the below. (Also I love this song, which is why I had all of these very strong opinions stored up in my head for a long time. OK?)


I hopped off the plane at L.A.X
With a dream and my cardigan

I have never seen Miley Cyrus wear a cardigan.

Welcome to the land of fame, excess
Am I gonna fit in?

I mean, yeah. You are famous. You have a Disney Channel show. Have you seen it?

Jumped in the cab, here I am for the first time
Look to my right, and I see the Hollywood sign

The first time? Really? Like, you’re 17, your dad is famous, you’re famous? This feels false.

This is all so crazy
Everybody seems so famous

No, you’re probably more famous than like 99% of them.

My tummy’s turnin’ and I’m feelin’ kinda home sick

#1 tip, do NOT use the word tummy moving forward if you want to be taken seriously in THE BIZ.

Too much pressure and I’m nervous
That’s when the taxi man turned on the radio

Lol “taxi man”

And a Jay-Z song was on
And the Jay-Z song was on
And the Jay-Z song was on

Ok, so, sidebar. I read that when this song was written, Miley Cyrus did not know who Jay-Z was. I admittedly read this in a Jezebel comment section about whether or not Cyrus was guilty of appropriation, but, like, is it true? How did this rumor start? Was she so sheltered that she never heard of him? Whose fault was that? Or was this just another slanderous effort to discredit a young woman’s personal exploration? WOW I think about this WAY too often.

So I put my hands up
They’re playing my song, the butterflies fly away
I’m noddin’ my head like, ‘yeah’
I’m movin’ my hips like, ‘yeah’

Ugh

I got my hands up, they’re playing my song
I know I’m gonna be okay

lol just u wait, Miley

Yeah, it’s a party in the U.S.A
Yeah, it’s a party in the U.S.A

A once great and crumbling nation 😉

Get to the club in my taxi cab
Everybody’s looking at me now
Like, “Who’s that chick, that’s rockin’ kicks?

THIS. IS. THE. WORST. LINE. IN. THIS. SONG. Like, literally gag-worthy. Who wrote this? Please rephrase. “Who’s that chick who’s wearing jeans,” “who’s that girl in comfy shoes,” “who’s that girl in LL Bean” ALL FINE ALTERNATIVES

She’s gotta be from out of town”
So hard with my girls not around me
It’s definitely not a Nashville party

Like, seriously, how insufferably Pollyannaish are they making this woman? You should have to take a character development workshop to be a songwriter.

Cause all I see are stilettos
I guess I never got the memo

Honestly? You did. You got the memo every time you ever watched a CW show, or a Hollywood movie. The only person who I have ever heard of who thinks SEXY clothing includes a cardigan and sneakers is Charlaine Harris who wrote the True Blood books and SHE is an upper-middle aged woman living in rural Louisiana.

My tummy’s turnin’ and I’m feelin’ kinda home sick

Oh, no, I spit up on my bib 😦

Too much pressure and I’m nervous

Mama plz help how did I even get 2 dis dance club?

That’s when the DJ dropped my favorite tune

Mama pweez buy me a book of teen slang from 1994?? Is dis how URBAN ppl talk? Mommy pweez pweez!

And a Britney song was on

My da da says she good infwuence

And a Britney song was on

I like da words because they easy to understand

And a Britney song was on!
So I put my hands up

Up! Up, pweez, mama! Baby hungy baby tired!!!!

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