Should a feminist pay on the first date?

There is some debate over whether women demanding equality should also expect to go Dutch on the first date. While it may seem like a no brainer, there is extremely clear logic explaining why some otherwise-feminists still expect the man to pay: they do not want to.

OK, yes, this MAY SEEM selfish and counterproductive and like the actions of an SJW equivalent of an Easter/Christmas Catholic, but consider this: men make more money for the same work.

“But Katie, I live in Austin, TX where all of the women I know work in non-profit management and all of the dudes I know work in bars or, you know, not at all” – fair. I have a solution to work out fairness-

Fully compare your finances on your first date.

First thing you’ll want to do before ordering at the bar is pull out your last three months pay stubs and compare your rate of pay. Whoever makes more money should– oh, wait.

THEN, pull out your last three months rent receipts. It’s important to consider how much of your income is disposable. Now you should be able to get that marti– oh, wait.

Ladies, pull out documentation of your birth control bills and gynecological visits. These will effectively be to your future partners benefit, and should be considered thusly. Now you can finally order a beer-– oh, wait.

Take out each of your car payment receipts, gas costs, oil changes, etc. If one of you doesn’t have a car, the other is going to drive more–Jesus Christ is there more?

One of you may have been born into an amount of privilege that is incomprehensible to the other. Bring full record of trusts and any inheritance funds. A dead relative in the hand is worth a job in the bush — this is getting really complicated.

Whip out your laptop. Pull up a quick excel spreadsheet and input all of your income, living expenses, medical and grocery bills. Factor out your total disposable income every month.

Do you have the total? Good.

But what if the totals are really comparable? 

Easy. Do some fast division and figure out what percentage of your combined disposable income belongs to whom. That is the percentage of your food and drink you should pay for. If this gets confusing, just use the back of your credit card receipt to do some long division.

A complete comparative financial audit is the best way to start off a fair, feminist first date.

Finally, you can determine who will get those $2 Lonestars!

Now ladies, be sure not to overshare about your thoughts or feelings!! It’s important to leave a little mystery if you want him to call you again.

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