In 2017, I’ve heard an inordinate amount of men mention “and also, I don’t like watching the Bachelor with you” in break-ups. I understand that deciding whether to participate in a Bachelor watch party can be difficult for a devoted lover, and want to provide resources to confused men.

Tonight is the debut of the first ever season of the Bachelor(ette) franchise in which the titular character is black, so the Bachelor-verse fan community is stoked for something 33 seasons in the making. If your girlfriend has invited you to her watch party and you’re undecided, here is a quick questionnaire to help you decide whether to go. Are you ready?

If you answered yes, go right ahead! You can change your mind at any time.

If the answer is no, don’t go. Wow, so easy.

Remember that your choices are solely your own, and guilting your girlfriend for inviting you to join her in an evening with friends is a real Juan Pablo move.

Go merrily forth into the world, and enjoy (or don’t)!

Best of luck to Rachel in navigating a sea of men who have already proven in previews that they will squeeze in as many micro-aggressions as possible! Your grace is astounding!