People often ask, how did you get into comedy? I have a bunch of answers to that, but generally I respond thusly: my senior year of college I took a creative writing course with a personal essay component, and I did really well. My teacher told me she “fell off her stool laughing.” It felt like something I had a knack for.
Well, this month in prepping for a show I reread that essay, and it was GARBAGE. In down time at work while I wait for pages to load, I have slowly re-written it, deleting 3 pages, adding 2, over and over. Below is some semblance of what made me think I was good enough to try stand up comedy.
Happy President’s Day! A reminder of our current ridiculous situation, as well as all of the ignoble deeds previous presidents have begotten. In honor of this great American holiday, and also as a form of pure escapism, I have annotated the lyrics to Miley Cyrus’s 2009 hit, Party in the USA. Read More
I know that my perspective as a white girl isn’t going to be the most interesting but I am just so mad that my brain wanted to create SOMETHING. Below are my annotations of the President‘s opening remarks (in italics). Read More
“Oh, you don’t like board games. That’s cool, I get it. My sister isn’t very competitive either.”
Hah. Hah hah.
Oh, how I wish I was like your sister. That I hated games because “I just don’t get it.” That I could lose a competition without imagining the heads of every person in the room impaled on sticks that I hold above my head as I streak through the neighborhood in search of conciliatory ice cream I let mingle with the blood as it dribbles down my chin.
Ok, that has never happened. But I don’t enjoy games precisely because I am HYPER-competitive. I don’t avoid games because I don’t find it fun to win. I avoid games because if I lose, it means that I am fundamentally less than the other people I am playing with, and I will resent them for it. Read More
“Have you noticed any change in your life or the way that people treat you since you lost weight?” my best friend asks.
“Only that my boyfriend didn’t want to be with me before I lost 15 pounds and now he does,” I reply.
“Yeah. Yeah, I noticed that, too,” she says. Read More
A weakness of mine I have been working exceptionally hard on in 2016 is that I am willing to take others’ problems on as my own, especially if I think I have a unique set of skills that I feel could help. One of my skill sets I’ve slid backwards into is developing marketing campaigns for comedy shows. I get asked for help a lot, but honestly, I have no formal training, and y’all can help yourselves. Here are my tips. Read More
When I am sad, I lose weight. When I am happy, I gain weight. This all seems reasonably fair and balanced Karma-wise, but after a month and a half of new relationship glow and 8 days in New Orleans, I have gained weight in that rapid-fire way where it all gathers in one lil tiny spot on your belly. Like Teletubbies, or everyone’s dad. Read More
In 2009 I started dating a really COOL guy. He was European and read a lot of books and introduced me to a lot of movies I hadn’t seen, whether I liked it or not. He rode a motorcycle. We both lived in New Orleans and had a lot of friends (mine didn’t like him because he was a PLAYBOY and also because he once took shrooms without me before a road trip so I had to drive). Then we both moved to Germany, where I didn’t have any friends. He said I was too clingy and dumped me. Read More