My first ever comedic essay

People often ask, how did you get into comedy? I have a bunch of answers to that, but generally I respond thusly: my senior year of college I took a creative writing course with a personal essay component, and I did really well. My teacher told me she “fell off her stool laughing.” It felt like something I had a knack for.

Well, this month in prepping for a show I reread that essay, and it was GARBAGE. In down time at work while I wait for pages to load, I have slowly re-written it, deleting 3 pages, adding 2, over and over. Below is some semblance of what made me think I was good enough to try stand up comedy.

Lol. Read More


Party in the USA: Annotated

Happy President’s Day! A reminder of our current ridiculous situation, as well as all of the ignoble deeds previous presidents have begotten. In honor of this great American holiday, and also as a form of pure escapism, I have annotated the lyrics to Miley Cyrus’s 2009 hit, Party in the USA. Read More


“Oh, you don’t like board games. That’s cool, I get it. My sister isn’t very competitive either.”

Hah. Hah hah.

Oh, how I wish I was like your sister. That I hated games because “I just don’t get it.” That I could lose a competition without imagining the heads of every person in the room impaled on sticks that I hold above my head as I streak through the neighborhood in search of conciliatory ice cream I let mingle with the blood as it dribbles down my chin.

Ok, that has never happened. But I don’t enjoy games precisely because I am HYPER-competitive. I don’t avoid games because I don’t find it fun to win. I avoid games because if I lose, it means that I am fundamentally less than the other people I am playing with, and I will resent them for it. Read More

Market your show better, dummy.

A weakness of mine I have been working exceptionally hard on in 2016 is that I am willing to take others’ problems on as my own, especially if I think I have a unique set of skills that I feel could help. One of my skill sets I’ve slid backwards into is developing marketing campaigns for comedy shows. I get asked for help a lot, but honestly, I have no formal training, and y’all can help yourselves. Here are my tips. Read More

When to say I love you

In 2009 I started dating a really COOL guy. He was European and read a lot of books and introduced me to a lot of movies I hadn’t seen, whether I liked it or not. He rode a motorcycle. We both lived in New Orleans and had a lot of friends (mine didn’t like him because he was a PLAYBOY and also because he once took shrooms without me before a road trip so I had to drive). Then we both moved to Germany, where I didn’t have any friends. He said I was too clingy and dumped me. Read More